Married/Single/Mommy/Childless Friends
May. 3rd, 2014 08:54 amSo the internet has been talking about this for a while now - friends with kids versus friends who don't have them, single friends versus married friends, etc. We get videos like this, where Moms woefully explain why they can't talk to their childless friends anymore, and corresponding comments saying those Moms are selfish.
I don't have kids, but I have friends who are married and/or have kids, and yeah, your friendship changes. I'd argue, however, that if your day-to-day life works differently than a friend's, it can be hard to get them (however well-meaning) to really understand why regardless of the reason. I worked full time while I was in college, and my classmates would be all, "hey, let's do this at 2 PM on a Tuesday!" Seriously? Sometimes I haven't even had a chance to eat lunch yet. The real world isn't a 90's sitcom where you can sit around a cafe all day and still have a job. 9:30 PM, then? Are you kidding? I wake up at six tomorrow morning.
But enough talking from me. Let's examine both sides and the crazy things they assume about one another. With pop culture references, because they're like, awesome.
( What Single/Married Friends Think You Do )
I don't have kids, but I have friends who are married and/or have kids, and yeah, your friendship changes. I'd argue, however, that if your day-to-day life works differently than a friend's, it can be hard to get them (however well-meaning) to really understand why regardless of the reason. I worked full time while I was in college, and my classmates would be all, "hey, let's do this at 2 PM on a Tuesday!" Seriously? Sometimes I haven't even had a chance to eat lunch yet. The real world isn't a 90's sitcom where you can sit around a cafe all day and still have a job. 9:30 PM, then? Are you kidding? I wake up at six tomorrow morning.
But enough talking from me. Let's examine both sides and the crazy things they assume about one another. With pop culture references, because they're like, awesome.
( What Single/Married Friends Think You Do )
It's the most thankful time of year! The 30 Days of Thanks meme is circulating, some of it touching, some of it explainabragging (we get it, your life is perfect, unless you're overcompensating - but you wouldn't do that), some of it TMI, and some of it so mundane you almost wonder if it's supposed to be sarcasm...
But sometimes life gives you lemons. So have some cliche lemonade, and find out what people would say in their 30 Days of Thanks if they were completely honest with - and about - themselves.
( 30 Days of Leomnade )
But sometimes life gives you lemons. So have some cliche lemonade, and find out what people would say in their 30 Days of Thanks if they were completely honest with - and about - themselves.
( 30 Days of Leomnade )
1. Assume everyone is Them
We all know that conversation. The one that has to happen.
"I'm so sick of Insert Religious Group Here blathering all the time. All they do is ring doorbells and speak tongues at you."
"...I'm a Religious Group."
"... hey, I didn't mean you! You don't even know how to ring a doorbell! I mean... can I get you some wine?"
Be awkward no more! Instead, skirt around the issue and make sure they're not the group you don't like because you assume (correctly, of course) that they must all be the same way.
"Hey, so, what do you think about being part of Religious Group? You seem like an okay person, so I'm guessing they're not all crazy? Wait, you ARE one of Them, right? Or am I thinking of someone else?"
That is guaranteed to go over much better.
2. Literally Shove Things Down People's Throats
People are sick of you, metaphorically speaking, shoving politics and religion down their throats. Let's face it - no matter how much you post "if 'Under God' were still in the Pledge of Allegiance, misinformation wouldn't happen", people aren't going to convert.
Solution? Get literal - with candy and chocolate!
There's tons of candy and and chocolate out there that subtly sends out the message you're trying to relay. Religious texts, Jesus (you can get His face on grilled cheese sandwiches, too), flags from your country, you name it! Deliver it to them with a coy smile. You'll have successfully shoved your beliefs down their throats without them immediately realizing what you've done. It'll all sink in eventually.
3. Be Always!Right
Never fact check anything. This will only ensure that sometimes, you may have to admit you could wrong, or that someone else might have a point. That would be just awful! It's best to assume you're right - about everything. Don't check anything. If you don't immediately notice that you have a message on your phone, don't check it. If you're leaving the house, don't make sure the door's locked properly. If you're driving, don't check the gas. There's definitely a tow company nearby. What could possibly go wrong with being always!right?
We all know that conversation. The one that has to happen.
"I'm so sick of Insert Religious Group Here blathering all the time. All they do is ring doorbells and speak tongues at you."
"...I'm a Religious Group."
"... hey, I didn't mean you! You don't even know how to ring a doorbell! I mean... can I get you some wine?"
Be awkward no more! Instead, skirt around the issue and make sure they're not the group you don't like because you assume (correctly, of course) that they must all be the same way.
"Hey, so, what do you think about being part of Religious Group? You seem like an okay person, so I'm guessing they're not all crazy? Wait, you ARE one of Them, right? Or am I thinking of someone else?"
That is guaranteed to go over much better.
2. Literally Shove Things Down People's Throats
People are sick of you, metaphorically speaking, shoving politics and religion down their throats. Let's face it - no matter how much you post "if 'Under God' were still in the Pledge of Allegiance, misinformation wouldn't happen", people aren't going to convert.
Solution? Get literal - with candy and chocolate!
There's tons of candy and and chocolate out there that subtly sends out the message you're trying to relay. Religious texts, Jesus (you can get His face on grilled cheese sandwiches, too), flags from your country, you name it! Deliver it to them with a coy smile. You'll have successfully shoved your beliefs down their throats without them immediately realizing what you've done. It'll all sink in eventually.
3. Be Always!Right
Never fact check anything. This will only ensure that sometimes, you may have to admit you could wrong, or that someone else might have a point. That would be just awful! It's best to assume you're right - about everything. Don't check anything. If you don't immediately notice that you have a message on your phone, don't check it. If you're leaving the house, don't make sure the door's locked properly. If you're driving, don't check the gas. There's definitely a tow company nearby. What could possibly go wrong with being always!right?
THIS awkward nerd moment
Feb. 22nd, 2013 08:04 pmA situation we've all been in. Exaggerating mostly to make this universal. :P
Person A: Oh, Star Wars? I LOVE Star Wars!
Person B: Another Star Wars fan! So blather blather, mcblatherson, Han Solo -
Person A: Wait, Han who?
Person B: Han Solo.
Person A: I have no idea who that is, I haven't seen Star Wars since I was five. I know Darth Vader's Luca Moonrunner's uncle, though!
Person A: Oh, Star Wars? I LOVE Star Wars!
Person B: Another Star Wars fan! So blather blather, mcblatherson, Han Solo -
Person A: Wait, Han who?
Person B: Han Solo.
Person A: I have no idea who that is, I haven't seen Star Wars since I was five. I know Darth Vader's Luca Moonrunner's uncle, though!
So apparently I've offended people on the internet. This is serious, guys. Really, really serious. I should realize that people on the internet mustn't be expected to actually read things before reacting, or read them carefully anyway.
So here's a well-worded version of everything I want to say right now. No offense.
Even though I love dogs, I have a cat. It isn't that I don't like dogs, because I do like dogs, even small dogs that could be mistaken for cats. Not that this is a slight against small dogs or small people. Small dogs and short people are awesome. But of course, so are big dogs and tall people. Medium sized dogs and medium sized people are also very good. Because I like everyone. There is no animal I don't like. I also like plants. I love plants. Please don't think I don't love you, tree outside my bedroom window! I LOVE YOU! I also love the sky and the clouds and that big, big moon. It's just that when I went to the animal shelter, they happened to have cats. So that's what I ended up getting. I got my cat because she was the most gentle - nothing against the cats that weren't gentle, our personalities just went together better. Not that my personality doesn't mean I don't like all sorts of cats and people and plants and rocks and moon cycles.
.... oops I forgot to mention I love fruit. Now I've offended fruit lovers. :(
So here's a well-worded version of everything I want to say right now. No offense.
Even though I love dogs, I have a cat. It isn't that I don't like dogs, because I do like dogs, even small dogs that could be mistaken for cats. Not that this is a slight against small dogs or small people. Small dogs and short people are awesome. But of course, so are big dogs and tall people. Medium sized dogs and medium sized people are also very good. Because I like everyone. There is no animal I don't like. I also like plants. I love plants. Please don't think I don't love you, tree outside my bedroom window! I LOVE YOU! I also love the sky and the clouds and that big, big moon. It's just that when I went to the animal shelter, they happened to have cats. So that's what I ended up getting. I got my cat because she was the most gentle - nothing against the cats that weren't gentle, our personalities just went together better. Not that my personality doesn't mean I don't like all sorts of cats and people and plants and rocks and moon cycles.
.... oops I forgot to mention I love fruit. Now I've offended fruit lovers. :(
How to comment on the internet without starting a flamewar:
1. Read the entire post/article/status/comment without any agenda to get into an argument about anything. Re-read if necessary.
2. Proceed calmly.
How to comment on the internet AND start a flamewar:
1. Do the opposite.
2. Ditto.
OTOH, it can be entertaining.
1. Read the entire post/article/status/comment without any agenda to get into an argument about anything. Re-read if necessary.
2. Proceed calmly.
How to comment on the internet AND start a flamewar:
1. Do the opposite.
2. Ditto.
OTOH, it can be entertaining.
Stupendously Terrific Fanfic Ultimatum
Jun. 18th, 2011 12:10 pmPsst: As with many things on the internet, the product you are about to enjoy is not srs bzns. Read this before reading the rest of my post.
I haven't been around lately, as many of you have noticed. Those of you who haven't are about to be defriended. The reason I haven't been around is because I have been absolutely shocked at the poor quality of fanfic on the internet. After I posted the Stupendously Terrific Fanfic Ultimatum back in 2002, fanfiction immediately started to get better. But then Geocities went down, and with it, my beloved Stupendously Terrific Fanfic Ultimatum. I thought it would be okay - surely fandoms across the dark cyberspace would remember my wise words.
But even my friends have forgotten! I am disappointed in you lot most of all. After all we've been through together, you couldn't remember anything positive brought to our friendship. You seem to remember the time I had my RP character kill off all of yours (because yours sucked) and the time I told everyone to defriend you for not shipping Hagrid/Dumbledore, but you cannot remember how I saved you from being a bad fanfic writer. Well, tried to save you, most of you still suck.
So I dug into my files and realized I changed computers seven or eight times since I first posted the Stupendously Terrific Fanfic Ultimatum. Whoops. I eventually got my dear friend Tula to email a copy she'd saved to me, so... here goes!
( Stupendously Terrific Fanfic Ultimatum )
I haven't been around lately, as many of you have noticed. Those of you who haven't are about to be defriended. The reason I haven't been around is because I have been absolutely shocked at the poor quality of fanfic on the internet. After I posted the Stupendously Terrific Fanfic Ultimatum back in 2002, fanfiction immediately started to get better. But then Geocities went down, and with it, my beloved Stupendously Terrific Fanfic Ultimatum. I thought it would be okay - surely fandoms across the dark cyberspace would remember my wise words.
But even my friends have forgotten! I am disappointed in you lot most of all. After all we've been through together, you couldn't remember anything positive brought to our friendship. You seem to remember the time I had my RP character kill off all of yours (because yours sucked) and the time I told everyone to defriend you for not shipping Hagrid/Dumbledore, but you cannot remember how I saved you from being a bad fanfic writer. Well, tried to save you, most of you still suck.
So I dug into my files and realized I changed computers seven or eight times since I first posted the Stupendously Terrific Fanfic Ultimatum. Whoops. I eventually got my dear friend Tula to email a copy she'd saved to me, so... here goes!
( Stupendously Terrific Fanfic Ultimatum )
My day is ruined. Someone on the internet disagreed with me. :(
With a smile and a sigh...
Sep. 26th, 2009 02:30 pmSo you know how sometimes there's movies for teenagers - sometimes in the theater, sometimes in middle/high school Home Ec and Health classes - that have a Very Deep Message, and while the intentions may be good, the execution is as cheesy and unrealistic as all hell?
I've written a parody trailer.
(Let me know if this doesn't cut right.)
I've written a parody trailer.
( Habits )
(Let me know if this doesn't cut right.)
How Are You?
Apr. 19th, 2009 04:08 pmTitle: How Are You?
Author: author_by_night
Fandoms: None - original fiction
Genre: Satire
Summary: An LJ user is lost in translation.
( Silly snarky story )
Author: author_by_night
Fandoms: None - original fiction
Genre: Satire
Summary: An LJ user is lost in translation.
( Silly snarky story )
Internet Personalities
Jan. 24th, 2009 10:48 am( Internet Personalities )
Feel free to add to the list in the comments. You can even recycle my characters.
Feel free to add to the list in the comments. You can even recycle my characters.
Angel Lite, Chapter One
May. 18th, 2008 03:26 pmSo there's a lot of Twilight snark around. So, in lieu of all that, I've decided to try a hand at some of my own snark: Angel Lite. ("Angel Lite" as a reference to the TV show, of course.) It was originally a joke amongst some friends, but they've persuaded me to post it. Note that if you like Twilight... well, you're still welcome to read, but do be aware my intention is not to insult the fans - it is friendly snark, plain and simple.
Here is my snark of the first chapter. Let's see if I can make this a new project.
Here is my snark of the first chapter. Let's see if I can make this a new project.
Merry Sooooo
May. 14th, 2007 08:48 amOr, rather, Mary Sue. *Innocent smile*
A few of you may remember the parody I wrote about two years ago, The Many Faces of Mary Sue. With the help of![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kelleypen, I have made it more HBP-friendly, and I have also made a few more changes.
Title: The Many Faces of Mary Sue.
Fandom: Harry Potter, though only one real spoiler.
Rating: PG.
Summary:I lik sux @ sumereez. Lisa Turpin has decided to write another fanfic for her favorite books - the Terry Hotter series, that features an original character. Little does she know what sins she has committed, and that atoning is near impossible.
Notes: No Litmus Tests were harmed in the making of this fanfic. Just gently tickled.
A few of you may remember the parody I wrote about two years ago, The Many Faces of Mary Sue. With the help of
kelleypen, I have made it more HBP-friendly, and I have also made a few more changes.Title: The Many Faces of Mary Sue.
Fandom: Harry Potter, though only one real spoiler.
Rating: PG.
Summary:
Notes: No Litmus Tests were harmed in the making of this fanfic. Just gently tickled.
( Follow the )
(no subject)
Oct. 23rd, 2006 07:19 pmOkay, guys, remember this?
Well, I'm officially tryting to actually get it going. So if you're still interested, please let me know. I'm finalizing the script and how it will work; I think people can record their lines, although if you have Skype, please mention it. I am going to be making an LJ or Yahoo group.
I have the following people cast:
Ibb, or
ireactions: Fiyero TiggularLinda, or
linda_lupos: Nessarose ThroppThe Other Linda, or PixieDragon: Elphaba Thropp (not official)
Sara, or
lady_sarai: G(a)linda UplandJulie, or
julibeth: Madame Maddy, or
parsimonia: Dr. Dillaaaaaamond - sorry, DillamondApryl, or
arianablack: Not yet cast (possible Elphaba?)Kat, or
shalli: Cynic Bea, or
beatriceeagle: Not yet cast (possible Gelphie shipper?) Christa, or ![[info]](https://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
eurora: Not yet cast (wasn't sure if time/microphone accesibility allowed for it?) Boq.
If you don't think you can currently do it, please let me know. Also, if you're interested, do let me know - though please be aware that there are spoilers
for Wicked! Also note that if you're not one for satirizing things you like, this may not be the thing for you. (I will say that Wicked's pretty much a satire in itself, though...)
For recording, I do suggest Audacity. Audacity is free, doesn't kill memory, and will record up to 73 hours without pauses. I've tested it, and it works like a charm.
On that note... must make some changes to the script!
The Undeath
Jun. 24th, 2006 01:08 pmTitle: The Undeath
Characters: Remus, Tonks, Hermione, Ginny, Harry, Ron, Fred, George
Author: Author By Night
Genre: Dark parody
Rating: PG-13 for dark humor
Summary: Remus’s soul is being tragically ripped from his innocent skeleton. To make matters worse, Tonks is pregnant. Oh noes!!!!!
Notes: A parody of (bad) Remus angstfic. However, it's also dedicated to my friends who know perfectly well how to write a good
darkfic.
